Monday, August 8, 2011


Life is hard. And the reality of that toughness can sometimes swell around you until it's too hard to see much else. Or sometimes, it happens even when life is not overwhelming...but just consumed by the little things of life...the daily to-do's. And you lose your focus. It shifts to the other things.

The thing is...I know that I know. I know how things should be. I know the right answers. I know THE answer. But it doesn't keep me from falling in the same trap as many others.

It has completely been my experience that the more time I spend in the Word, the more I seem to naturally exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. The more time I spend with God, the more His love seems to expel out of me. The words of an old and dear song come to mind: "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." When my mind is on Him, I can do it.

See, I've let depression and darkness cloud my vision. The past few weeks, I haven't even spent much time with God. And I KNOW that I need to. I KNOW He can help. And the truth is, I know He is still working in my life even though I am not calling on Him. But it's time for me to actually make the choice to choose God. You know, sometimes that can be a daily decision. Even when it is tough, you choose to spend time with God and you're rewarded simply because He shows up too. :)

I'm back in the Word.
Are you?


Rita Barakat said...

I had no idea you had this blog - good for you and hang in there! I was reading in Mark - I've read it before but I caught something - it s when the ladies came back to the tomb and it's empty? Mark 16 :4 says ...see the place they laid Him. Go, tell His disciples and PETER. (of course it's not capitalized) but isn't it interesting that even with all the mistakes Peter made - even denying he knew Him that He would still include Peter by name ? Even when we feel so far away from God he is always thinking of us with grace and mercy.

Amy said...

Sometimes we have to choose God on an hourly basis. I can totally relate to you. There are certainly times that God feels so much nearer than others. It's hard to walk with Him when He feels far away. I am reminded that His word is a lamp to my feet....sometimes thats as far as I am going to be able to see and I have to just walk in that faith I profess. He is always there....always.