Monday, June 4, 2012

Being Real (and a bit transparent)

Wow...I disappeared on you all, huh.
Sorry about that.

The Excuses
Well first off...my kids got out of school.  And I love that.  We've been busy, it's just how summer goes.  But it does make it tougher to find time for all the other stuff I want to do.
And then I had a sick little one too, and then (of course) I got sick myself.  I am starting to feel better, but I still don't feel back to normal.

The Truth
While those are absolutely true, I also realize that there is a bigger reason for why I haven't been posting on the blog or doing projects.  And I am just going to be open about it.  So for the past year, well...a little longer than a year...our family has been dealing with something really tough.  And while I am not going to go into details about that, I will say that it has it's effects.  I have been struggling with the big D word...sometimes it feels a bit more controlled and sometimes I just really feel depressed and like I can't climb out of this pit.  During those times especially, I don't get much scrapbooking done...I just never FEEL like doing anything.  The funny thing is--when I HAVE to get something done and force myself to sit and work...I enjoy it!  I'm always glad I did it.  But if you have ever struggled with depression at all, then you probably know how short lived that enjoyment is.  Anyways...I am not trying to be a downer.  I figured I could put it out there and you would know...and perhaps somebody else will read my words and feel better about being "real" themselves.  We do this thing in life where we all pretend we have the perfect lives and are totally happy, but I have learned that in most cases--that's not real.


But I do have several projects to share with you.  I will spread them out over the next few posts.  First up--my projects for The ScrapCake.

Last month we had Women's Week on the TSC blog...we did projects honoring a woman in our lives, and we were supposed to make it really feminine.  Here's the layout I did:

I used a combination of papers from both the My Private Happiness and the One Moment in Time collections.  

My grandma is in kind of a sad place in her life too.  My grandpa passed away several years ago, and she just lives alone.  She doesn't leave the house much at all, and her laughter (which used to be abundant) has been replaced with complaints.  But I want to make sure that I don't remember her this way.  I want to remember her as the goofball she has been most my life.  She's funny, she loves to laugh, and sometimes she just does/says the silliest things.   I miss her smiles and her laughs.  

Here are some close up's of the layout:

The chipboard "remember" comes from Imaginarium Designs, the flowers from Prima, and the beautiful cameo embellishment and the lace from Webster's Pages.  

What do you think--does it look feminine?  

And then here are two cards I made using the My Private Happiness collection:



Ok...well I will be back soon!

I hope you have a FANTASTIC day!!!


26 comments:

Lisa Rukin Swift said...

Great big hugs to you, Pamela. Slogging through the heaviness that is depression, can be incredibly difficult. Along the same vein of being real, I hope you don't mind my saying that I hope you've consulted a doctor for some help with this. :)
Your projects, as always, are gorgeous. The photos of your grandmother make me smile.

Connie Mercer said...

Love your work Pamela~you have a gift!!! Always enjoy seeing your take on things!!! I understand about tough times ~ most people do. {{hugs}}}

April said...

I'm so sorry that things have been hard for you. I'm glad to hear you say that when you sit and craft something, it's enjoyable. Hopefully it can help you deal with some of the sadness and depression. Hugs to you...

soapHOUSEmama said...

I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing these hard times. I think many of us can relate. I love your projects and super big HUGS to you!!!

Mary Pat Siehl said...

your projects are just wonderful!! hope you are feeling better~

smahrty said...

Thank you for being real. There are many of us that can relate, myself included. You do what you can do and dont worry about the rest of world. You have a wonderful talent and the best thing is it is yours to enjoy when you want to, not when I want you to. Hope your find some sunshine soon. Take care and enjoy your summer.

Mary Jo Rhoda said...

Gorgeous projects!
And the same thing happened with my nana. It was so hard the last few years for her. And to see the changes. But I think it would be great to do a layout of how I remembered her in the earlier days.

Sorry you have been struggling with depression. I think many of us do off and on. And I know for some it's much worse. Hope you are feeling better!

TeenaBugg38 said...

Your projects are absolutely beautiful! I can soooo relate to the big "D" I personally have bipolar disorder. While it is normally pretty well under control and I am usually way more prone to be manic than depressed, I went thru a really bad bout earlier this year. So depressed I couldn't even get out of bed for a couple of weeks. I completely fell off he face of the earth and didn't say anything to anyone...the DT I'm on, family, everyone was in the dark about just how bad it was because I wouldn't talk to anyone. If you ever go thru this again just know you aren't alone. Hugs!

Erin Blegen said...

Pamela, I love that you're honest. Depression can definitely take its toll on a person; my family is full of it- and I've watched it hurt people on so many different levels. The most important thing is that you can recognize what's going on and do what you can to "deal"...just take care of you. You have a lot of supporters out here- so I'm rooting for you!
Thanks for sharing your beautiful projects; just take care of yourself and the rest will follow.
Hugs,
xErin

Melissa said...

That layout about your grandmother is very touching and absolutely gorgeous. Hugs for your struggles, I think we all can relate at least a little bit. Sometimes the "happy face" that we feel the need to portray is enough to make you want to scream. Feel better and keep sharing!

joscelyne cutchens said...

xoxox I know the feeling of falling in a pit that you just can't get out of. I pray you feel better soon. something that makes me feel better? Know that GOD loves you!

Susan Martin said...

Im so sorry you are going through a hard time. I've been there.I will keep you in my prayers. And your projects are beautiful. The page is very feminine. I love everything you did.

Lisa Echerd said...

Hugs! Hope things get better soon. You never know what is behind the veil each of us shows to the world. You are very courageous for sharing and I hope you find strength in your projects and blogging friends. Beautiful projects!

Sarah Webb said...

Great creations! Hugs for you through this tough period!

Debby said...

Thank you for sharing...sometimes in our perfect bloggy world it seems like everyone's lives are just Perfect. for different reasons I'm sure I struggle and at times have to push past the D and do the things I once loved and still do...it's just times can be hard. I know it doesn't always help...but I try to remember "This too shall pass."

PattyC said...

I am glad that you are choosing to honor your grandmother as she was. That is a lovely layout and a lovely tribute to a woman who was clearly full of joy. Please take care of yourself! You are correct that you are not alone. {{{HUGS}}}

Madeline said...

Great projects! what a wonderful tribute to your grandma. Hang in there. I hope you feel better.

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

So sorry you have been hard times right now.... {{{hugs}}} and I absolutely loveeeeeeeeeeeee the lo of your Grandma!! She is a beautiful woman!! And I love love love the lace!! Your cards are beautiful too!!!

Lynn Murphy said...

Hugs and prayers my friend. Love your page its a beautiful tribute to your gram. I love my gram and i miss her forever. To quote her (my gram) "this too shall pass.

GLOANN said...

So glad you're back. I've been missing your posts and concerned about why they weren't there. Hope you'll get some help for this. My DH went through this and it was the worst time ever in our lives. Love your very feminine LO of your grandmother. And the beautiful cards. Have said a prayer for you.

TheresaE said...

Hugs to you Pamela! I totally understand the depression thing. I've struggled myself. I too find that when I force myself to scrap it is a mood lifter,but finding the mojo is so difficult at times.
The layout of your grandmother is beautiful! I loved her happy face, it makes you smile just to look at her :)

Stacey Michaud said...

hang in there...you just find a way to put one foot in front of the other. You have your beautiful kids right there with you...I adore that page...so meaningful.

Stacey Michaud said...
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Izzy Anderson said...

I love that you captured that happy page of your grandmother. Love all the texture. Your cards are beautiful. Hugs to you. Everyone goes through rough times. It does get better. :)

Lisa Dorsey said...

So sorry to hear that you have had a difficult time lately. Sending lots of prayers your way. Your projects are just gorgeous, especially that layout of your grandmother. Love it!

Savannah O'Gwynn said...

Sending hugs your way, Pam:) I am sorry that you've been dealing with some things/issues/etc. right now--don't worry! You are not alone! I believe I've been {insert the D word} for the last year....nothing I can do other than grab ahold of Jesus--He will help you through!!! Praying for you! HUGS! <3 <3 <3

And your projects ALWAYS inspire me! I am in love with how you craft and create! So detailed and layered and beautiful! LOVE:) HUGS!